The St Patrick's Day Special
by SummerEliza
Summary: The contestants have been brought together for a St. Patrick's Day Special. With TDA still fresh in their minds, how will this day play out? Hopefully it won't be too painful, but with Chris Maclean involved, who knows?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Total Drama Island franchise.

A/N: I felt the need to write something for St. Patty's Day. It's only going to be a two or three-shot. I'm only writing it like that because I don't have the time to finish it tonight. Have fun reading it! I think it's on of the better things I've written recently.

* * *

After Total Drama Action, the contestants happily went back to civilization where most of them hoped to put the Total Drama Island experience behind them. No further seasons had been announced and so far, it seemed that it would stay that way. However, their contracts still existed and legally bound them to doing pretty much anything the network wished them to do. Thus, when they received word that they had been invited to a St. Patrick's Day special, it was less of an invitation than an order. The contestants had gradually arrived at the set of the old Aftermath specials and most of them were hanging around on stage. Only two had yet to arrive, but for some reason those on the set had seen neither hair nor hide of Chris Maclean.

"Who has a TV special on St. Patrick's Day?" Gwen grumbled. Cody moved to pat her on the arm comfortingly, but she shot him down quickly with an annoyed glare. He gave her a sheepish smile and retracted the offending hand.

"Chris wanted to be the first," Geoff said lazily. He pulled off his signature cowboy hat and ran a hand through his hair. "I think I feel fly-aways coming on," he muttered. "Make-up!" A tired looking woman with messy brown hair and an assortment of tools for beautification strapped around her waist scurried towards the party boy turned diva king. Bridgette shot him a look that was a mixture of anger, pain, and sadness. Geoff didn't notice, as he was too busy examining his nails. "Could you buff these?" he inquired.

The party boy had quickly reverted back to his diva ways after Total Drama Action reached it's conclusion. After a high profile breakup with Bridgette that was rumored to have been just for publicity, he had left her heartbroken and continued on what Star Stalker magazine called "a meteoric rise to the top." After signing on with Network 21, the teen had already been on several hit soap operas, secured a role in the new movie _Goodminton 2_ alongside Chris Maclean, and was negotiating a contract to host his own show. He even had his own line of hair products coming out, an honor that the network hadn't yet given Chris. Of course, Chris wasn't quite thrilled about Geoff's success. In fact, he was downright bitter. But Geoff was finish using Chris as a stepping stone and didn't really care what Chris thought of him.

"I'm sure he's just using this whole shebang as a giant pretense for announcing a new season," Noah said frankly.

"He better not be planning a season without me on it," Eva growled. Ezekiel, who was sitting next to her, scooted as far away from her as he could be on the small couch.

"I think a new season would be awesome!" Owen cheered. "There are awesome challenges, an awesome prize-"

"Which you promptly gave away when you won the first season," Noah muttered.

"And I'd get to spend some time with you guys!" Owen continued, "It'd be awesome!"

"Spending more time with you freaks?" Heather commented. "Sounds like a nightmare."

"You know, your hair grows really slowly," Gwen said off-handedly. She grinned wickedly at Heather, who simply scowled and ran a hand through her short hair.

"Ouch!" Leshawna hissed. She held up a hand for Gwen to high-five, which Gwen did promptly.

"Leshawna!" Heather said, irritated that the bootylicious sister hadn't taken her side.

"Whoops, sorry girl," Leshawna said apologetically. "Just so used to being your enemy."

"I can't get used to you not being her enemy," Gwen said, annoyed.

"C'mon, Gwen, she's not all bad," Leshawna protested.

"I beg to differ," Gwen shot back.

"I agree with the chocolate goddess," Harold said. "She's not always heartless and cruel." He smiled and stared into Leshawna's eyes lovingly.

Leshawna bit her lip nervously. "Boy," she started to say. She stopped and sighed. Leshawna wasn't sure exactly what her relationship with Harold was exactly. He had made it pretty obvious that he was besotted with her, but her own feelings remained a mystery to her. She knew that she had forgiven him pretty easily when he voted her off TDA and had even given him a hug. There was also that one kiss….. But no matter what, he was still a skinny little string bean of a boy and she had gotten enough teasing at home about her "loverboy."

Gwen gave her a sympathetic look but was quickly distracted by her own problems. Namely, one musician that was determined to get her back. He flashed her a crooked smile, hoping desperately that she would at least smile back. He had no such luck, as she quickly looked down at the ground unhappily. Cody smiled at her unsurely, hoping to reassure her.

Not everyone in the room was having relationship problems. Tyler and Lindsay were a blissfully happy couple. They were currently making out happily on one of the couches.

"Awwwww, they're so cute!" Katie cooed.

"I know!" Sadie agreed. "I wish I had a boyfriend!" She eyed Justin and the hunk stared at her nervously.

"I'll find you a boyfriend!" Katie declared, staring at Justin pointedly. Justin started to look decidedly nervous, suspecting that the two were about to jump him and force him into boyfriendhood.

"Katie, that's so sweet! You should have a boyfriend too!"

"You're sweet too!"

"Congratulations," Noah said. "You two are officially the most insipid duo ever."

"You don't mean that," Katie protested. She frowned at the bookworm, who didn't even look up from his book.

"Oh, but I do," he retorted.

"You're a meanie sometimes."

He rolled his eyes. "You've mortally wounded me. Never have I ever been called something as terrible as…… a meanie."

Katie made an angry noise and crossed her arms across her chest. Sadie frowned. "What does insipid mean?" she asked Katie quietly.

Noah didn't bother to hide his laughter.

A green flash streaked across the stage towards the bookworm. "OW!" Noah bellowed. "Izzy!"

The redhead cackled uproariously and ran towards the other side of the stage. "It's St. Patty's Day so you get a pinch!"

"Who let the psycho in?" Noah complained, rubbing his arm.

Izzy flew around the room, leaving angry people rubbing their arms in her wake. She only stopped when she reached Owen. She leaped onto his shoulders and sat their happily, surveying the mayhem and distress she had left behind.

"Izzy!" Owen cheered.

"Owen!" Izzy yelled, equally happy.

"Izzy!"

"Izzy!"

"Huh?"

Izzy laughed maniacally and leapt off his shoulders gracefully. "Izzy's happy to see Owen!"

"Owen's happy to see Izzy!"

The two stared at each other for a moment before falling onto the nearest couch to make out.

"I love you more!" Beth said into the phone as she walked onto the set. She paused and then shook her head, as if the person on the phone could actually see her. "No, I love you more Brady! I've got to go, I'm here." She smiled as Brady responded and nodded happily. "I love you too……. No, I love you more….. I love you more……" She continued on with the endless conversation while she sat on one of the couches.

"I still can't believe he's real," Courtney muttered.

"Believe it, Princess," Duncan said. "He's obviously not just a figment of her overactive imagination."

"Those are some big words you just used there, Duncan," Courtney said.

He smirked. "You must be rubbing off on me, Princess."

"Don't call me Princess."

"Sure, Princess."

"I said-" She abruptly cut herself off and sighed unhappily. She wouldn't allow herself to argue with him now that he was rich. After all, rich men shared their money with their girlfriends, right? And that was the only reason she was being so nice to him, she reassured herself. The fact that he was rich now was also the only reason her parents would allow her to date him. Not that she was dating him. She didn't even want to. Or did she? She shook her head violently, shaking the thoughts out of her head.

Duncan was watching her out of the corner of his eye. In his opinion, Princess hadn't been herself after he won the money. She was just being way too _nice_. It was actually kind of bugging him. At least when she was lecturing him about something or other (he wasn't normally listening) she looked a little happy, even if she tried to hide it. Recently, she'd been looking nothing but miserable and Duncan didn't like it. But sadly, he had no real idea why she was like this much less how to fix it.

At that moment, DJ walked onto the stage. He stroked Bunny and smiled at all the contestants.

"My brother!" Leshawna said excitedly. She hurried to him and gave him a hug.

"Deej!" Duncan called out, happy to be distracted from his thoughts. He got up and gave DJ a fist-bump. "What's up?"

"Nothing really, dude," DJ replied. "How's it going with you?" Duncan frowned and glanced at Courtney. DJ gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sorry to hear that dude."

Duncan shrugged. "Well, what about you? You were named the number four most wanted guy on Total Drama Island. Right after me, of course."

Noah scoffed. "What magazine was this?

"It was… It was…" Duncan stuttered.

Lindsay quickly pulled out of her kiss with Tyler with a wet sucking noise and clapped her hands excitedly. "Ooh! I know this! It was totally Star Stalker wasn't it? Colby was number one, wasn't he?"

"You read Star Stalker?" Noah said derisively.

"I don't really," Duncan muttered. "It was just the only thing to read that one time and my sisters were squealing about it. I don't read it on a normal basis. It's not like it was even my magazine. It was my stupid sister's." He continued on in this vein for a while before trailing off uncertainly, annoyed at the blow the knowledge of something so girly had caused his manhood.

"Wait, Colby was number one?" Gwen questioned. "As in, Cody?"

"That's what I said right?" Lindsay said cheerfully.

"Nah, babe, you got the name wrong," Tyler corrected her.

"Awww," Lindsay said sadly. "Was I close?"

"Yeah, yeah," Tyler reassured her. Lindsay regained a sunny smile and leaned in to start kissing again.

"Wait, I was number one?" Cody said incredulously.

"Really?" Gwen said, just as incredulous.

The two of them received no answer, as Lindsay's lips were busy. Gwen stared at Cody in disbelief while he smiled his gap-toothed smile at her unsurely.

"Eh heh," he laughed hesitantly. "That's unexpected."

"Hey, everyone!" Chris said loudly. He strolled onto the set wearing a pair of sunglasses and carrying a cup of coffee. Chef trailed behind him and looked angry to be there. "We're on air in thirty seconds. We're going to be streaming this live, so don't be too nervous everyone." He gave them a grin and quickly took a seat on the center couch. He glared at Geoff, who was also sitting there. "Dude, you can't sit here," he said forcefully.

"Whoah, chill," Geoff replied calmly. "Lemme just get my touch up done real quick."

"No, get off my couch," Chris insisted.

"Whatever dude," Geoff said. He sauntered over to another couch and sat next to Bridgette, who looked like she was going to be violently sick, run off stage, or punch him in the face. Or maybe all three at the same time.

"We're on air in five…." the cameraman said. "Four…. Three…. Twoo…..one."

Chris smiled brilliantly. "Hello and welcome to the Total Drama St. Patty's Day Special!"

"That's a dumb name," Noah muttered under his breath.

* * *

A/N: What do you think? I'm planning on making some new couples, resolving some of the stuff TDA left unresolved, etc. This was a load of fun to write, I had a great time trying to understand what some of the characters might be thinking after TDA. I tried to adress that both Leshawna and Harold had kind of had a moment where they decided to tolerate Heather. They don't exactly love here, but they're putting aside their differences in this story. For now.

Review! It'll make me really happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the Total Drama Island characters.

* * *

"We're here with all the contestants from the original Total Drama Island," Chris said, grinning at the camera. "First off, we're going to have a Q and A session with the contestants. So grab your phones and call the number on the screen! Anybody can-"

"I refuse to answer anything too personal," Heather interrupted him.

Chris turned a grin on her that seemed more evil than anything else. "Well Heather, darling, I'm pretty sure you'll want to answer because we're bringing back the ever popular Truth or Electric Chair!"

The contestants groaned and turned horrified looks at the electric chair that was being wheeled onto the stage. Geoff looked positively gleeful that his idea was still being used on the show. He smirked at the host, realizing that Chris had failed to come up with anything more creative/life-threatening. Chris glared at him, seething silently.

Chris caught sight of the teleprompter, which was signaling the first call deemed appropriately dramatic by the call screening crew. He regained his hostly smile and put aside his anger for Geoff. For the moment, at least. "Our first caller for the night is Maribelle from Winnipeg."

A girly voice crackled from a speaker on the edge of the stage. "Hello?"

"Heya, Maribelle," Chris said. "Who's your question for?"

"Um, well, I'd like to ask Noah a question," Maribelle squeaked.

"Didja hear that, Noah?" Chris said playfully. "She wants to ask you a question."

"There is nothing wrong with my hearing, thank you," Noah said tartly.

"Well, go get in the chair then," the host replied. Noah rolled his eyes and reluctantly went to sit on the dreaded electric chair. One of the backstage helpers strapped him into the chair and hooked up the lie detector.

"Um, Noah, I was kinda wondering if…" Maribelle trailed off slowly and took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, you know how Celebrity Scoop ran that article about you secretly dating Cody? I was wondering if you were gay."

Noah glared at the nearest camera in a rare display of uncontrolled emotion. "I am perfectly straight, thank you very much." The audience stared at him with bated breath, but nothing happened to the bookworm. "Don't believe everything you read. Would you believe it if they printed that I had a secret love child hidden away somewhere?"

"Oh, I read that article!" Lindsay chirped. "It was about the baby you had with Kattie and how Colby was all mad about it."

Cody suddenly coughed loudly while Katie shifted on the couch uncomfortably.

Chris laughed gleefully and smirked at Noah. "Man, this is awkward," he said. "Thank a bunch Maribelle! Our next caller is Kathy from Toronto. What's up Kathy?"

"My question's for Beth," Kathy said. Beth smiled at the camera, glad that someone had a question for her. She quickly switched places with Noah, who was staring blackly at Cody. "Um, I don't really believe that your boyfriend is real," Kathy said snottily. "So I was wondering if he was an actor you hired to show up."

Beth's mouth fell open slightly in shock and her brows knitted together. "Why wouldn't you think he was real? He's totally real!"

"Hey, leave my girl Beth alone," Leshawna interjected. "He was real and we all met him."

"That doesn't prove anything," Kathy accused.

"Well, as much as I love all the drama," Chris interrupted, "Your time has run out, Kathy. Nice talking to you!"

"Hey, I'm not do-"

"Next is Patrick from Quebec City," Chris continued. "Who's your question for?"

"I want to ask Gwen a question," Patrick rasped. The speaker crackled, making his already raspy voice sound even worse. Chris sent a dirty look at the speaker and muttered something about crappy equipment. Gwen sighed and went to sit in the electric chair unenthusiastically. "Now that you and Trent have broken up, are you going to give Cody a chance? Or do you think you're going to get back with Trent?"

Gwen sighed again, even deeper than before. "I'm not planning on gettingback together with Trent." She paused, and the audience watched eagerly, some hoping she would get zapped and others hoping the opposite. No shock came, to the despair of some and the glee of others. "I also don't plan on dating Cody because I don't really like him like th-" Those words, however, were interrupted by a large electric shock. After it was over, everyone looked a little shocked.

Three people in the room were particularly affected. Trent looked like he was about to pass out. The fact that Gwen had basically chosen Cody over him after how adamantly she had claimed to not like him had rendered him speechless. Cody's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head and he was staring at Gwen like she had just told him that he had won the lottery. Gwen herself seemed confused and incredulous, as if she hadn't known she was lying herself. In fact, she hadn't, and the fact that she (according to the lie detector) liked Cody had stunned her.

"Well, that's unexpected," Geoff said cheerfully, summing up the entire moment. After all, the audience wouldn't stay in a shock induced stupor forever, and somebody needed to move the show along. Chris glared at him, hatred seeping out from his eyes towards Geoff. Geoff simply chuckled good-naturedly while Bridgette continued to look extremely uncomfortable beside him. "Chill your nips, dude. Bring on the next caller."

"I'll decide when I get the new caller!" Chris snapped. He frowned at Geoff, but pulled himself together quickly. "And that time is now! So now we've got Missy from Victoria on the phone."

"Hi, everyone!" Missy chirped. "I'm, like, so excited that I got on! I can't believe I'm actually talking to you guys. I, like, really wanted to ask Geoff a question."

"Sure, babe," Geoff said. Missy giggled loudly into the phone while Geoff made his way over to the electric chair. "What's your question?"

"Well, uh, I heard this rumor that you just broke up with Bridgette for the publicity," she said. "Is that true?"

Geoff smiled his newly whitened smile directly towards the camera. "I don't think my publicist would allow me to talk about it, so I'll refrain from answering."

Bridgette abruptly stood up and stormed off the stage. Some of the girls saw tears running down her face as she ran.

"Oh no," Gwen muttered. She and Leshawna quickly chased after her.

"What's up with her?" Geoff said under his breath.

"Let's go on commercial break, shall we?" Chris said.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Total Drama Island/Action/Musical franchise.

* * *

"Okay people, meet me at the pool!" Chris announced as he strolled off the stage. "You've got two minutes. And can somebody get the drama queens on their way?"

"Such cheapos," Noah muttered. "Making the Aftermath set be at the Playa de Losers."

Harold, Cody, and Trent all quickly dashed off the stage in the direction the girls had disappeared. Geoff started to follow after Chris, but his way was quickly blocked by Duncan and DJ. They stared at him for a moment with their arms crossed across their chests.

"Dude, that was harsh," Duncan said.

"Yeah, you seriously just hurt Bridgette's feelings," DJ added.

Geoff's eyebrows raised and he stared at them incredulously. "Since when are you her bodyguards?" he asked meanly.

"Since you turned into this massive jerk," Duncan shot back.

"Yeah, you're not being fair to Bridgette," DJ said.

Geoff laughed in a way that sounded extremely forced. "I can't believe you two are the ones trying to lecture me."

"Whadda you mean by that?" Duncan said, leering dangerously at Geoff.

"You're pretty much prize jerk," Geoff said while gesturing towards Duncan. "And you cheated on the last season. Who are you to talk about being fair?" he snapped at DJ. "You two are just so pathe-" He was abruptly cut off when Duncan's fist plowed into his face. He doubled over, holding his left eye.

"Duncan!" Courtney shouted. She ran from the couch where she was waiting for Duncan and held him back. He struggled against her, trying to give Geoff more of the beating he so deserved. "Violence is not the answer!"

"Princess, that doesn't mean much coming from you," Duncan scoffed.

Courtney released him suddenly and crossed her arms across her chest. "Now what do you mean by that?"

"Do I even have to say it?"

DJ stood on the side, shaking his head helplessly. Courtney gave him a pleasant smile that invited him to explain. "Obviously, I have no idea what you're talking about Duncan," she said, her tone dangerously sweet.

"The Harold thing?" Duncan explained.

"That's different!" Courtney argued. "You did it too!"

"I'm not the one being all high and mighty, now am I?"

"He deserved that!" Courtney replied.

"Oh, and Geoff doesn't deserve this?" Duncan shot back.

Geoff laughed loudly and both Courtney and Duncan rounded on him angrily. "Look at you two!" he laughed. "You can't even agree on this!"

"Shut up!" Courtney shrieked. She leaped for Geoff, attempting to scratch his eyes out. Duncan also tried to get at the diva.

DJ tried to hold back Courtney, but couldn't stop the fight Geoff and Duncan were having. Tyler stopped making out with Lindsay when he noticed the fight. Ezekiel, who was hanging around onstage also suddenly noticed that the fight had taken a turn for the worst. Both guys jumped into the fight and pulled Duncan off Geoff.

"Dudes, calm down," Tyler said, attempting to placate the angry teens. Ezekiel nodded in agreement.

"Shut up and go make out with Dummy over there," Geoff said angrily, jerking his thumb at Lindsay.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that," Tyler growled.

"Like what?" Geoff replied. "I didn't even say anything bad about her. Dumb is a compliment to her. Seriously, I bet the only reason you're going out with her is because she has big ti-"

For the second time that day, Geoff was cut off by being punched in the face.

-

"Bridgette, don't worry," Leshawna comforted Bridgette. "He's just being a jerk.

The girls had found Bridgette crying in one of the dressing rooms backstage. They had ushered the makeup artists that had been standing around unsurely out of the room and set upon the task of comforting their friend.

"Yeah, I know," Bridgette said tearfully. She sniffed and wiped a few tears off her face. "I just can't believe that's the Geoff I used to love. You know, he used to be so sweet. And then he turned into-"

"A giant d***head?" Gwen supplied.

Bridgette laughed shortly and bitterly. "Yeah." She stared at Gwen and Leshawna, her friends to the end, who were desperately trying to comfort her in her time of need. But it wasn't only her time of need, she remembered. "I feel so bad being so pathetic when you two have your own problems," she said.

"Problems? I don't have problems. I only just announced that I liked somebody on live TV that I didn't even know I like, devastating my ex-boyfriend and making the whole darn thing just so much more awkward," Gwen joked.

"You want to talk awkward?" Leshawna laughed. "I've got a skinny little white boy following me around, hoping for some sugar. And you wouldn't believe the guff I got from my family for that."

Bridgette giggled and wiped some tears from her eyes.

"I think she's amused by our problems, Leshawna," Gwen said dryly.

Leshawna laughed. "Look at us! We're like a darn soap opera. No wonder so many people watch the show."

The door to the dressing room swung open, revealing the three boys that were the source of most of Gwen and Leshawna's romantic problems. They were breathing hard, as they had just finished a mad dash around the entire set of the special.

"Hey," Trent started to say. He paused and bit his lip unsurely.

Harold stumbled forward, wheezing as though he was about to collapse. "Are you….. okay…. Bridgette?"

"Yeah!" Bridgette said brightly. She wiped the last of her tears from her eyes and stood up. She gave Gwen and Leshawna a knowing look. "I'll just be going, okay?" She leaned in towards the girls and whispered into their ears. "Promise you'll talk about everything with them?"

Both Leshawna and Gwen gave her an amused look. She smiled and left the room.

"Hey, don't go back to the stage," Trent called after her helpfully.

"Why don't you show her where to go?" Gwen suggested.

"I'm sure she can-"

"Please, Trent?" Gwen said forcefully.

Trent glanced at Cody and frowned. "Yeah, sure." He left the room reluctantly to take Bridgette to the pool.

"Why don't we leave you two alone too?" Leshawna said. She led Harold out and left Cody and Gwen alone in the dressing room.

Cody walked over to the couch Gwen was sitting on and sat next to her. "So you're into me, huh?" he said slyly.

"I guess so," Gwen replied.

"So…" Cody started to say. He scratched the back of his neck distractedly and stared at Gwen. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't really think I can deal with a relationship now," Gwen admitted. "The whole Trent thing really shook me up."

Cody flashed his gap-toothed smile and gave her a thumbs up. "Don't worry, Gwen. I've waited pretty long already, a little longer won't kill me." Gwen let out a sigh of relief, glad that Cody wasn't going to pressure her into anything. "So, uh, for now we're just friends?" Cody asked.

Gwen nodded. "Sure."

Cody offered a hand for her to shake and she stared at it for a second. He started to retract it, thinking how dumb it was of him to look for a _handshake_, when she took it and gave it a small shake. He laughed a little and smiled again.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Cody joked.

Gwen laughed. "I'm sure."

-

"Okay, where is everyone?" Chris yelled at the contestants who had actually arrived on time. "It's two minutes to live and half of you aren't here!"

Almost everyone shrugged in reply. "Maybe they got lost?" Beth suggested.

"Or they're beating each other's brains out," Eva said excitedly.

"Or maybe they found food," Owen said. He drooled a bit at the idea of food.

"Or maybe they were all abducted by the Loch Ness Monster!" Izzy yelled. She pulled a camera out of her skirt and dashed off in the direction of the Aftermath set. "You're not getting away from me this time, Nessie!"

Owen dashed after Izzy with a happy smile on his face. "Can we eat Nessie if we find him? I've heard grilled sea monster is a delicacy!"

"It most certainly is, my dear Owen," Izzy replied. She cackled uproariously and the two were soon out of sight.

"Great," Chris muttered. "We've lost another two." He sighed and gestured for the nearest intern to come over.

The intern in question looked like she had survived a war. Sections of her long brown hair were almost entirely burnt off and she had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept for a week. Bruises were on almost every part of her body, her clothes were tattered and stained with dirt and a substance that looked suspiciously like blood, and she had a blood-stained bandage wrapped around her upper arm. "Whadda you want, Chris?" she snapped.

"Rachel, what's up with you?" Chris asked. "You were so perky when you got here last week."

"That was before you made me test out more of those insane challenges for this show!" she shrieked. She balled her fists up at her side, stopping herself from punching the host.

"I knew it!" Noah said triumphantly. "You _are _going to make us do some sort of absurd challenge!"

Rachel turned on the contestants angrily. "You guys don't know how good you've got it!" she yelled. "I've got to test all of his challenges to make sure they don't kill you! I've survived being in a cage with man-eating sharks for an hour, jumping from a plane without a parachute, fighting giant killer beavers bigger than the ones he ended up using on TDA, and running through a min-"

"Don't ruin that for them," Chris interjected. "I actually used that."

"I've tested all of Chef's creations for the past week and for two summers before that," Rachel continued. She stepped closer and closer to the contestants with every word she spoke and they edged away from her uncomfortably. "I've gotten head lice from those stupid beds they make us sleep in, and I've catered to the every whim of this moronic pretty boy!"

"If you're done, Rachel," Chris said, rolling his eyes at the intern. "Could you go to the control room and tell the contestants to get their butts over here over the loudspeaker?"

Rachel gave him a flat stare and turned to leave. She walked away at a pace that snails could have beaten easily.

"If you don't hurry, I'll make sure the network _never _releases you from your contract!" Chris called after her.

Rachel broke into an all-out run and was gone before anyone could blink.

"Suddenly, I feel like I'm really lucky," Katie whispered. All the contestants nodded in silent agreement.

-

"All you contestants get your butts over to the pool area!" Rachel's voice yelled into the loudspeaker. "OR ELSE!"

"Whoah," Harold said. "I guess we should hurry."

"Yeah," Leshawna agreed. The two of them walked at the same speed as before down the hallway, not hurrying one bit. "Hey, Harold."

"Yeah?"

"We gotta talk about us."

"Yeah?" he said excitedly. His face dropped suddenly and he looked at her unhappily. "Wait, this isn't going to be like the last time you said that when you dumped me, is it?"

"I don't know," Leshawna said slowly. "I mean, I don't really get this. I like you a lot, but I don't know if I want to date you. I just don't think it'll work out."

"We could try!" Harold said hopefully.

"We could…." Leshawna replied hesitantly.

"So it's settled," Harold said decisively. He took Leshawna's hand in his and stopped walking. He looked into her eyes and gave her a comforting smile. Amazingly, Leshawna felt her worries fade away as she stared at that smile. She turned towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

-

"Thank god," Chris muttered as he saw figures finally walking out from the Aftermath set building. "I was starting to think we'd need to delay the airing even more. Maybe a live show wasn't such a good idea."

Duncan, Courtney, Tyler, DJ, Geoff and Ezekiel all trudged towards the pool. A few of the cameramen had finally broken up the fight, but not before each of the teens had gotten fairly beaten up. Geoff and Ezekiel both had eyes that were beginning to swell and were going to be colorful black eyes in the morning. Courtney's blind scratching had injured many people it wasn't meant to hurt, like Ezekiel, Tyler, DJ, and Duncan. (Okay, maybe some of the Duncan scratching wasn't _purely _accidental because, to be honest, he had irritated her earlier.) Even though Ezekiel and DJ were simply trying to break up the fight, they had been outnumbered and outmatched by Tyler, Courtney, and Duncan's blind fury. With three people trying to pound on one person at the same time and two people trying to break it up, it was no wonder that quite a few injuries were given to people they hadn't been meant to be given to.

Several eyebrows rose when they were close enough to see the real damage on their persons. Katie and Sadie gasped in unison, while Eva simply looked smug.

"See?" Eva said smugly. "They _were_ beating each others' brains out. I just wish I had been there to see it."

"Someone's quite bloodthirsty," Noah commented.

"Thank you," Eva responded, quite amused.

"Dudes, you're all messed up!" Chris said gleefully, obviously thinking of all the rating he would get for this newest development. "Someone tell me the cameras got footage of that!"

Chris' rejoicing at the drama was cut short when Izzy and Owen barreled out of the building carrying two people on their shoulders. Those two people, namely Cody and Gwen, had a mixture of terror and amusement on their faces. Izzy and Owen skidded to a stop by the edge of the pool, very narrowly avoiding tumbling into the water. Cody and Gwen breathed a sigh of relief.

"We didn't find Nessie, but we did find something just as good!" Izzy shouted excitedly. She started to do a little jig, which terrified Gwen, who was up on her shoulders. "These two were all alone together!"

"They were quite cozy too!" Owen added.

"Suspicious, eh?" Izzy said, a wicked gleam in her eye.

Bridgette caught Gwen's eye and both gave her a knowing look, making the goth girl flush in embarrassment. Trent simply sighed deeply.

At that moment, Rachel ushered Leshawna and Harold out of the building. "Chris, I found these stragglers making out in the hallway," she said tiredly when they joined the group. "I'll be taking my break now."

"You don't get a-" Chris started to say. He stopped when Rachel turned a frightening glare on him, insinuating that something bad would happen to him if he didn't let her take that damn break right this instant. "Yeah, yeah. Take five." She continued to glare and started to walk towards him. "No- no- take ten! Fifteen?" She continued to advance and Chris backed away from her a bit. "Half an hour? You know what? Just take the whole day off!"

Rachel brightened and turned away from the host. "Thanks, Chris."

"Yeah, whatever," Chris said dismissively. "Let's go back on air!" he yelled at the cameramen.

"And we're back on air in five…. Four….. Three…. Two…. One."

"Welcome back to the Total Drama St. Patty's Day Special!"

* * *

A/N: Was that long enough for you people? Anyway, I'm always really amused when I write fight scenes. Making people get into fights is really fun to write for some reason.

This story will probably only run for one or two more chapters. At most three. Hopefully. I feel a little bad that not everybody got screen time in this chapter. I was really proud of myself in the first chapter, everyone had at least one line! Considering how many people are in TDI, that's a real feat.

Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! A special thanks goes out to TDI Ezekiel, who left a review on the first AND second chapter, and has also just been all around awesome. TDI Ezekiel's written a story that you should all go ready! www. fanfiction .net/s/5808116/1/A_Natural_Problem Go on! Read it and review it!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All rights to Total Drama Island belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of the show.

A/N: Sorry about the late update people! I decided to publish this chapter sooner rather than making it longer because it's been a while.

* * *

"Of course, we've got some very dramatic news to share you all you fans." Chris smirked at the contestants and they all simultaneously were hit by extremely bad feelings about whatever was about to come out of his mouth. Lindsay whispered something to Tyler about her 'Chip Senses' tingling. "We wouldn't just have a special if we didn't have….. a new season to announce!"

"Told you," Noah said, rolling his eyes at the predictable host.

"In true Total Drama fashion, our contestants will be competing in an incredibly amusing and slightly deadly obstacle race for a position on the new show," Chris continued. "But it's not just any old challenge. It's a super amazing, budget and death defying, obstacle course that will test your friendship and your love!"

"How is this different from anything else we've done?" Gwen asked with a roll of her eyes.

Chris wagged a finger at the goth. "Oh it is. Because this challenge won't be done in regular teams. Instead, we're dividing you into couples!" Lindsay squealed in excitement and started making out with Tyler again. "But there are going to be a few last minute changes, because you guys' relationships are just so darn complicated!"

"But Chris," Beth called out. "What about us who don't have a significant other on the show?"

"That's a good question, Beth," Chris said cheerfully. The farm girl was suddenly hit in the head by a flying object. When she found that it was a cookie, she was rather confused. "We just divided you all up into random boy-girl couples. So let's announce the couples, shall we?" The contestants all looked decidedly nervous, even those whose partners were obvious. "Tyler and Lindsay, Leshawna and Harold, Owen and Izzy."

All three couples looked extremely relieved that Chris hadn't meddled with the pairings in some way. Tyler and Lindsay and Owen and Izzy started to make out while Leshawna and Harold shared a brief kiss. Bridgette flashed Leshawna a smile and the ghetto sister blushed lightly.

"Geoff and Bridgette-"

Several contestants let out gasps and glanced at Bridgette to see what her reaction would be. The surfer chick actually remained quite calm, staring at the ground like it held her salvation. Geoff simply looked annoyed and rubbed some of the scratches on his face absentmindedly.

"Courtney and Duncan."

Even Chris looked at this couple expectantly, hoping for some sort of reaction. To Chris, the Geoff and Bridgette reaction was quite a letdown. Both Courtney and Duncan simply shrugged their shoulders and moved closer together. Chris started to look rather put out.

"Katie and Noah."

Both Katie and Noah looked at each other slightly nervously and said nothing. By this time, Chris was starting to despair. Why did none of the contestants seem ready to bring the drama about these pairings? They had just been beating each other up, for goodness sakes! Even Noah, ever the snarky one, had nothing to say about being paired with the giggly she-twin. Actually, everyone else was also slightly amazed that he had nothing to say. Chris gave up and decided to continue.

"Gwen and Cody."

"Cool," Cody said. He flashed Gwen one of his trademark gap-toothed smiles and Gwen gave him a small one back. Trent's expression changed from one of slight unhappiness to one of utter despair.

"Sadie and Trent."

Sadie clapped her hands together and turned to her BFF for an EEEE moment, but Katie was standing next to Noah, not paying attention to Sadie, and Sadie was left EEEE-less. Trent was still despairing and Sadie wasn't sure she wanted to be near someone so depressing.

"Eva and DJ."

The fitness buff glared at DJ, who whimpered and shuffled as far away from her as possible. "Don't get in my way," she growled.

"Beth and Justin."

Beth turned to Justin flipped his hair dramatically. She gritted her teeth and started muttering to herself. "Stay faithful…. Stay faithful…. Stay faithful…."

"Ezekiel and Heather."

"What?" Heather shrieked. "I'm with _Homeschool_?" Chris chuckled while Ezekiel fingered the bling around his neck nervously.

"Well, I'll explain the rules now that we're all happily divided into couples." Heather scoffed and glared at Ezekiel. "This challenge is divided up into several different tests of coupledom. You have to go through the hotel and end up at the finish line in the main dining hall. Follow the arrows that tell you where to go. Every room has one test inside it. Any questions?"

Several hands raised, but Chris only smirked at them. "None? Good. Then let's get started. On your mark…. Get set…. GOOOO!"

The contestants all raced for the doors that led to the hotel's main lobby the second the host announced the start of the contest. When they burst through them, they were met by a horrendous sight. Namely, Chef in a short sparkly pink dress.

"My eyes!" Duncan yelled. "They're burning!"

"Oh my gosh, Katie," Sadie said. "That's, like, such a faux pas, right?" She was confused when she didn't receive a response from her BFF, who wasn't standing next to her for once.

"Oh, suck it up," Chef barked. "Stand in line, maggots." The contestants rushed to do so and were soon standing in a slightly crooked line. "Attention!" The teens all snapped to attention. It was almost a conditioned response after going through Chef's boot camp on the first season. "I'm going to go down the line, and you've got to tell me three things about your partner. And physical appearance does not count!"

* * *

The Confessional (Since when did we have one of these?)

Chris: I was serious when I said they were tests of coupledom. /He smirks at the camera/

-

Trent: I hate to be negative but… /he sighs/ We're screwed.

* * *

"Smartypants here can go first." Chef nodded at Noah.

Noah glanced at Katie and rolled his eyes. "Her favorite color is pink, she loves to dance, and she has a little sister."

Katie smiled and looked at Chef. "His favorite book is War and Peace, he's class president at his school, and he has eight siblings: Mellie, Belinda, Kevin, Jack, Mick, Tracy, Leanna, and Candy."

* * *

The Confessional (Back so soon?)

Noah: Listing them was a bit overkill, Katie.

Katie: /She giggles/ Whoops.

-

Sadie: Since when was Katie, like, BFFs with Noah? Is she ditching me? /Her lower lip trembles like she's about to cry/

* * *

Most of the contestants managed to list three things about their partner rather easily. Even Justin managed to mumble something about Beth living on a farm and having a pig. Only Sadie and Trent, Eva and DJ, and Ezekiel and Heather didn't pass.

"I don't know anything about him," Heather protested, wrinkling up her nose like she smelled something bad. "Why would I?" Ezekiel simply pulled his toque down over his eyes and pretended he was anywhere but where he was at the moment.

"Everyone who has passed the test can go now," Chef barked. Those that had passed ran for the door to the next room while Chef turned to the three teams that had failed the test. "You three need to figure out three things about your partner. But you cannot talk to each other!"

Heather face-palmed while Ezekiel started trying to mime something to her.

* * *

**(Test 2- C****ouples: Tyler and Lindsay, Leshawna and Harold, Owen and Izzy, Geoff and Bridgette, Courtney and Duncan, Katie and Noah, Gwen and Cody, Beth and Justin)**

The contestants burst into the hallway, only to see Chris waiting for them. They stopped in their tracks, amazed and slightly disturbed at the sight of him.

"Hey, guys," Chris said cheerfully. He paused, expecting a response, but the contestants were busy staring at the leprechaun costume he was wearing and the ropes he was holding in his hand. They were all hoping the stuff was just for some weird fetish of his, rather than for the test. Sadly, their hopes were soon dashed. "Today is St. Patrick's Day, so we decided to have a test where you search for a pot of gold!" He paused, waiting for enthusiastic responses, but most of them were still hung up on the leprechaun costume (Izzy was practically salivating) so he got none. "Well, not really a pot of gold," he amended. "Each team needs to find a piece of these gold chocolate things to pass." He held up a piece of chocolate, wrapped in shiny gold foil and smirked. "And you're doing it while being tied to each other!"

This time, he received flat stares and angry looks. Well, except from Izzy. She dragged Owen towards the host and bounced up and down excitedly. "Tie us up, host man!" she said. "You know, I always suspected you were a leprechaun. You've got the pants for it and you totally like playing tricks on us. I mean, every leprechaun has to have a not-so-hidden mean streak, or else why would they keep all that chocolately goodness hidden away from the needy population?"

* * *

A/N: And I end the chapter with Izzy's rambling. Sorry about the shortish chapter, I've been kind of busy recently.

On a happier note, my birthday is soon! April 30th people! I'm so excited.....


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